The 5 step guide to getting hit by a car on campus 🚗

The Garden #20

Sep 22, 2023

Hello and welcome to the The Garden!

This week on the newsletter: old city, new sound. But first, how do you get hit by a car?

Alright, first things first: whatever you do, don't panic.

You will feel like there is no way you could've survived that. Then, you will feel like there is no way that just happened. And after that, you will try to just walk out of there just to later realize your foot hurts way too much to do so.

If you are lucky, you'll have some friends who will write down the license plate and take you to the hospital. If you are even luckier, the distracted 19-year-old driver hit the breaks just in time to only give you a nasty sprain.

Congrats! You have a boot, a doctor's referral, and some crutches, what now?

1) Denial, anger, concussion, depression... anger… again?

Alright, one more time, how does the whole grief thing work again?

1. denial

2. anger

3. bargaining

4. depression 

5. acceptance

Grief is quite a funny thing.

When you read about it, they explain it in this tidy sequence of stages. One thing after another, an organized process. They may disclaim that progress is not linear, that the grief is slightly different for everyone and different in every case.

They never say that you will feel everything, at every moment, all at once.

You will deny you are grieving –I mean it's only a sprain– while being angry at the whole thing –fuck this guy, fuck this city– while you bargain with the crutches –I mean, at least I can move around– while at the same time, you sit blank stared trying to figure out where you're at now –everything is over, I'm done for.

And that is just Tuesday.

2) Move fast, break things

And when I say break things, I'm just talking about my ability to focus.

Another thing people don't talk about is how easy it is to completely break your whole process.

Make one leg hurt, and suddenly everything derails.

Now you can't walk, sitting hurts, taking a shower now takes like an hour.

How am I supposed to get things done now? Easy, you don't.

Resting is not fun when it becomes a task. If you want to recover, you can't pretend business as usual. You all of a sudden getting better is your job.

If you are lucky the people around you are going to be understanding.

Don't get me wrong, deadlines won't disappear, but at least the all-nighters will move around a little later down the month.

Also, can anyone explain what a concussion is?

Well, brains are squishy

If you fall too hard, the brain will move around and hit your skull.

Turns out, brains don't like it when that happens. Now brain is on strike, and concentration is not a thing that will happen any time soon.

3) Week two, can I go out with my friends now?

Well yeah, just keep in mind that cars, streets, and crosswalks are real scary now.

You are a tough guy. You won't let a sprain tell you what to do. If I want to go out for a couple of drinks, I will go out for a couple of drinks, crutches and all.

Also, friends are good at at times like this.

It might even feel for a moment that life is back to normal. Believe me, It is not, but it might feel like that, for at least a couple of hours.

Just, keep in mind that you will flinch every time a car passes by. And you will think twice, trice even, before you walk the crosswalk

Brains are funny don't you think so?

4) Stop being an asshole to yourself

No but seriously, why did you think you'd be able to do everything you were able to do before the accident?

Why would you think you'd have that story ready on Wednesday?

Who on earth would pressure you to get things done, when you can't even walk well?

You know for sure you wouldn’t put that kind of pressure on anyone. Why would you put it on yourself?

Well, the thing is that sometimes we don't give ourselves the grace we give to others.

But it is all part of a process. Two crutches, to one crutch, to an anklet, to be careful when walking, to feeling alright.

Your body just needs some time, would mind giving the poor soul a break?

5) Get better

It's all a game of chance. If the odds are in your favor, you will start getting better soon.

A terrifying prospect to be honest, but unavoidable nonetheless.

Does it mean that I have to get back at it? Does it mean that I have to write the newsletter again?

Oh, and don't forget that story you owe to Chuck, good editors won't let you forget a promising pitch.

Yeah, you will be three weeks behind on life. But you've been through worst.

A couple of all-nighters, a fair amount of compassion, perhaps a nice talk with a friend, whatever it takes to get you back on your feet.

Life moves on, and so will you.

Help I saw a tweet and now I'm obsessed with Black Country, New Road! 🏕️

I know, I know, but hear me out.

BNCR is probably the most interesting project that's come out of the other side of the Atlantic in a while. The complex arrangements, the lovely aesthetics. Their transition after their lead singer left the band.